The nature in nursing

While I was pregnant, I spent a lot of time hoping and wishing I would be able to breastfeed our son. Neither I nor my sister were breastfed and both my niece and my nephew were formula fed as well. I never really had been exposed to breastfeeding but I know it's just what is absolutely best for baby. I've read millions (okay, A LOT) of articles and even took a breastfeeding class with my husband to best understand breastfeeding and everything that it comes along with. I knew it would be work. "Rigorous" is the word used to describe breastfeeding by our midwife at our hospital. I knew that as much as I wanted to breastfeed, it might not happen because sometimes that just happens. Sometimes, your body isn't capable and at no fault of your own. I knew there was a chance my baby might decidedly not take to breastfeeding or as a team, we might not work or reach this goal. I knew the key to start this process was to get this baby to latch as soon as possible. Which is why immediately after I woke up after delivery, I began asking to breastfeed. See, I had dreamed about breastfeeding while pregnant, and pretty frequently too. I remember one specific dream, my son latched and I felt the suction begin but more than that, I felt the softness of the back of my baby's head and my heart became unglued. I could not wait for this to be my reality. At my first attempt to breastfeed my son, I started off pretty nervous. This is the moment I had been waiting for, the moment that I had dreamed about! It had to be perfect, right? The different types of positions to hold this baby started to flash before my eyes. I started to think technically and not just go with how I felt would be most natural. So, I took a minute to take a deep breath. Cross-cradled my son to my right breast and before I was able to brush my nipple to his mouth like I had learned in our breastfeeding class, my son opened his mouth and lunged toward me, latching with a gentle force that said to me, "Mommy, I'm ready! Let's do this!". I swelled up so high and looked at my husband who had the biggest smile on his face and he said, "you're doing it!". I'll never forget this moment. From that very first latch, my relationship with breastfeeding has been quite the journey of it's own but it's one that I've absolutely loved every second of. The first couple of days, I was SO excited to breastfeed at any moment. My son would whimper and I would leap up and reach for him or ask for him with urgency and he would be latched on in no time. Once my milk came in, I experienced 3 weeks of engorgement and raw, chapped, sore, FIRE nipples. But through this painful new experience, I kept on and never gave up. There were nights where I nursed for HOURS straight and did so crying because of the pain. They say a correct latch will not result in pain but my son's latch is and was perfect. With the help of heat pads, cold packs, lanolin, my trusty pump and my incredibly supportive husband, I made it. Even through a 5 day hospital stay that required I pump every 2 hours around the clock just to keep my supply up, I was able to keep myself above water and stay on the path I created for myself. 

I was on maternity leave for 14 weeks and for 14 weeks straight, I nursed nursed nursed. "AGAIN??" people would ask whenever they saw me nursing. My only response would be, "this is all the time!" and I had no problem with it. Of course, some nights I would look over at my sleeping husband, exhausted, and wish he could feed my son but, I was also so grateful that I was able to do it. The bonding when nursing is so incredible and wonderful. When I went back to work, I was terrified my supply would dwindle. Your body will only produce the amount of milk you require it to. The more you nurse, the larger your supply. Surprisingly, coming back to work had little to no affect on my milk production. Every once and a while, I'll take fenugreek to up my supply if I feel it's a bit low or that I could be producing more and it definitely helps but other than that, breastfeeding has come completely natural to us. He loves to nurse and I love to nurse him. It's a great love affair. 

With that being said, the last two days have been interesting. I come home for lunch every day at the same time and nurse him. Usually, even if he's napping, he'll latch on and nurse until his heart's content but the past 2 days, he hasn't been interested in nursing at all. My husband and I thought maybe his feeding schedule was conflicting with his hunger so we changed it today. He should have been ravenous at noon, but he wasn't. He was more interested in playing and smiling at daddy than nursing. Over the last 2 weeks, I've noticed he doesn't need to be nursed as often. It makes me terribly sad but also, happy to know that he's developing and getting all the nutrients he needs. He's much more active and sprouting so quick I can barely stand it. I know nursing strikes occur and baby's needs are going to change, but I just hope that I can keep up. I absolutely love nursing and don't plan on stopping anytime soon but I do know that everyday I nurse, is a day I should be proud of and if I could get through those treacherous first 3 weeks, I can get through anything. 

Me and my new son after one of our first nursing sessions. See that nursing cover? I was so confident I would need one so I could nurse even if I had visitors. I was right.